Hey all, Dani here.
I’ve been doing more posts on Instagram lately, because the Bookstagram community is awesome. I love seeing all the pictures of books, and the shelfies, and connecting with other readers. I’ve also been starting to seek out BookTubers (book reviewers on YouTube). And I’ve found a few book themed blogs to follow as well. So I’m trying to be a more active member of the community, which is why I’m participating in a couple challenges this month. The one is a photo challenge, #springintomay2016 over on Instagram, and then there’s this #MayBookPrompt challenge, which is happening both on WordPress and Instagram.
I like them both for different reasons. Coming up with the photos each day is fun and makes me think of which books to showcase and how to showcase them best. I enjoy taking photos, but I’m also enjoying this little writing challenge. I usually struggle with shorter fiction; I’ve gotten so used to the expansion and elaboration of novels that writing a short story or, worse, flash fiction, has felt like an impossible task. But I think I’m doing all right with the stories I’ve written so far this month…though, yes, yesterday’s Pride and Prejudice inspired story has actually decided to expand to at least a novella in the future.
So, anyway, it is the fourth day of this challenge, and today’s prompt is: The Fault in Our Stars.
There was a young man I met when I first moved up to college, and I very quickly realized that he would be someone important to me. But let me start at the beginning: we met in the music building, in a little lobby/lounge area. I had arrived a bit too early for athletic band and the doors weren’t open yet, and he was there for show choir.
I figured since we were both in the music building we would have some common interests so I went up to him and said hello. Later he told me that he thought of me as one of those weird freshmen and so he basically just humored me. At the time I hadn’t noticed. We spoke for a few minutes and then parted for our respective rehearsals.
A few days later the school was holding some Welcome Weekend activities specifically aimed at us little freshmen. One of those activities was Giant Twister; they had taped 4 Twister boards together to form a massive playing field. I have to say that it was actually pretty awesome. I had been playing for a few minutes when lo and behold, the boy I had met in the music hall was leaving Campus Center with a bag of books just purchased at the Campus Bookstore.
Again, later he told me that when he saw me he thought he could show the annoying little freshman where her place was and defeat me at Twister.
I would like to say here and now that after two hours he had not won a single game. But that apparently earned his respect and he invited me back to his dorm room to hang out. It was the start of a wonderful friendship.
Except it didn’t take long for me to realize that I liked him as more than a friend. But in matters of relationships I am very introverted and kind of nervous and shy. So I never said anything. I remained a good friend and watched him date girls, and then there was that summer where he thought he might have fallen for a guy. God, that hurt, but as his friend, I would accept it if he was happy.
Three years later he graduated and I spent my senior year without my best friend around. We still kept in touch: texting, Facebook, and occasional phone calls. He was at grad school, and then I graduated and went to grad school myself.
We spent a few years apart, though we continued to chat off and on. Then one day we scheduled a meet-up, and went out for dinner and a movie. It happened almost every weekend for a few months…and then…
Well, then he finally asked me to be his girlfriend. I was floating on air. By this point I had dreamed of it happening for about seven years. Everything was going to be perfect, and in my little daydream fantasies I imagined that his was it. We would date for a year or two, get engaged, then married, and so on and so forth.
To be fair, everything was great for a while. We still talked quite a bit and did dinner and movie dates still almost every weekend, but things never really progressed past that point.
I wanted it to be more so badly but I didn’t want to push things, so I didn’t.
I guess we both realized that our friendship was wonderful and we decided to end our romantic relationship before we ruined what we already had by trying to force it to be something it obviously wasn’t.
Let’s be honest though…I still think about what could have been. He’s still my best friend, and I’ll always love him. Hell, I’ll probably continue to be jealous of anyone he dates in future. Some days I even wish we could try again. But would anything change this time around? Or is it just not our fate to share a happily ever after? I guess we aren’t written in the stars at all, or if we are then we are separated by others, and perhaps it will always be this way.
Yet still, I continue to hope. I dream of that happily ever after. And I guess even if he isn’t my partner in life, he’ll still be a part of my future, because it is the friendship of forever.